Mama Bear Medicine

Fear and Awe and Healing

Credit @ericroverdog/bears.for.you on Instagram

Here I go with another animal healing story.

I have a long history of being afraid of bears. Living in a city for so many years, I didn’t really have a reason to be so fearful of them. I didn’t grow up in a camping family, and I didn’t marry someone from a camping family.

But on the rare occasion when I would find myself alone in the woods, usually on summer vacation trips in Northern Michigan, my heart was usually in my throat as every snapping branch or the rustling of leaves surely meant a bear was nearby.

I was terrified.

The first time I actually saw a real live bear was when I went down to look for a new home in western North Carolina after my partner died.

I hadn’t driven a car in well over a decade and had to rent one and get my driving mojo back. I was staying with a new friend who owned a bed and breakfast outside of Asheville. She insisted that I drive everywhere to get used to the area.

We were on the highway when we both saw something headed toward us from a distance. “Slow down! Stop!” yelled my friend as a big black bear lumbered towards the road. Four lanes of traffic came to a screeching halt as the bear miraculously and safely crossed the highway.

When I found a sweet little house to rent on the edge of the Pisgah National Forest, I heard the owner talking to the realtor, saying, “Have you seen the big bear with the scar on his face who’s been roaming around up here?”

My eyes about bugged out of my head. Thoughts ran through it, such as “If I’m cooking in the kitchen with that door to the patio open, will a bear come in?”

In the end, it didn’t matter because, for other reasons, I’d decided that North Carolina wasn’t the right place for me to live.

Not only was I terrified of bears during the rare visit to a forest, but they also visited me in my dreams a lot.

After a prolonged illness, I started having animal dreams. A lot of them. My partner had died several months before. It was in the deep of winter - January/February, and almost every night, an animal or multiple animals would visit me.

They were vivid dreams, the kind that you never forget.

They were comforting to me, and I felt an element of protection from them. I’d been studying energy healing for a few years and was about to stumble upon shamanism, so it was perfect timing.

One night, I dreamt that I was in a little cabin in the woods, and my father walked in and said, “Barbara, be careful. There’s a bear out there.” And, then, he left me alone.

I heard a sound and watched in horror as I saw a bear walking into the cabin on her hind legs.

I fainted in fright. Flat out.

When I came to, I was in the arms of the Mama Bear, who gently laid me on the sofa, and walked out of the cottage.

I love this dream so much.

When I woke up the next morning, I saw the date and realized that it was my deceased father’s birthday. March 1st. Yesterday.

Back in the day, when I had a Bitmoji app on my phone and thought it was fun to have an avatar (now it creeps me out with AI on the move), I found this image. Did my phone know about my dream? I mean, what the hell??

It is funny, I have to admit. But I deleted the app in 2020 when it tried to put a mask on my avatar!

But I digress.

Anyway, my fear of bears shifted just a bit after that dream.

Fast forward a few years, and I was headed to a healing camp at the Blue Deer Center in Upstate NY. We had to send an email detailing our reason for coming.

I’d been dealing with some longstanding family issues, which I detailed in the email.

I forgot all about what I’d written, and one afternoon, instead of my usual meditation, I decided to pick up my drum and do a shamanic journey to the Lower World.

The sound of the drum quickly delivered me, and I found myself in a beautiful forest. All of a sudden, I saw a bear walking down a path on her hind legs, coming straight toward me.

She stopped in front of me, took my hands in her big paws, and said, “Barbara - why are you so afraid of me? I’m here to guide you.”

She went on to tell me some things regarding motherhood that dramatically shifted my perspective on what was going on in my life.

I got a big Mama Bear hug as she told me she was my animal spirit guide and would always be there for me.

As I drummed my way back to this “real” world, I was sobbing.

Whenever I journey back to the Lower World, she is always there waiting to greet me.

When I reflected on that experience years ago, I remembered that my ex-husband used to call me Mama Bear.

Fast forward a few more years, and it’s October 10, 2020 (my deceased partner’s birthday), and I find myself with a friend standing in front of this most precious of houses. No one else had looked at it yet.

As he locked up the house, my soon-to-be-landlord said, “Oh, by the way. The house has a name, It’s The Bear Den.”

My friend looked at me in amazement and pointed out the bear charm that I was wearing around my neck.

It was meant to be.

This is serious bear country where I live. And although my journeys with Mama Bear no longer held any fear, I still had some trepidation in those woods.

By the time I moved in on November 11th, the bears were already hibernating. So, that fear went to rest for the winter.

One day, I think it was June or July of the following summer, I was watering my garden out back, which is on the edge of the woods. It was dusk. I looked up and gazed down the path in front of me, and there was a HUGE bear lumbering across the path in the woods.

My heart stopped beating for a moment. It seemed like a mirage and was equal parts terror and awe.

I put the hose down, slowly made my way into the house, and took a deep breath.

Another time, I woke up in the middle of the night and looked out my window to see a mama bear and her cubs cutting across the hill my house sits on. They crossed the road and ran into the nature preserve.

Last summer, I was about to pull into my driveway when I saw a bear in the ditch on the other side of the road. I stopped the car and locked eyes with this most beautiful animal. It only lasted a few seconds because a car came up behind me.

I will never forget that moment.

Bear sightings here are pretty common, but I don’t think anyone takes them for granted. It is such a gift.

And guess what? My heart no longer pounds when I hear a rustling or a snapping branch.

It has made me more present when I’m walking in the woods. The black bears here are not aggressive by nature and are just as afraid of us as we are of them. I know enough to pay attention so as never to get between a protective mama and her cubs.

So, what does my favorite oracle deck, “The Wild Unknown Animal Spirit,” have to say about Bear?

BEAR
WAKING FROM SPIRITUAL SLUMBER, BEGINNING ANEW

After a long winter, the Bear arises from deep slumber. At first, the movement and effort are difficult, but the Bear knows it’s time to awaken and move toward the dawning light. The Bear card represents an individual on the cusp of new directions and personal transformation. The initial weeks and months of this spiritual quest may feel tricky, cumbersome, and full of obstacles. But you have no choice, Bear. Winter wanes, the warmth of spring emerges, and your transformation begins. - Kim Krans, “The Wild Unknown Animal Spirit

My friend, Hawkeye, poked his head out last week, but I know that when I go into the woods today, after all of the snow that’s fallen, he will be buried again.

A friend texted me this morning about how bad it is out there. We have another foot of snow coming down. I had literally just been gazing outside, realizing that this is my absolute favorite kind of weather. Pure Joy.

It’s so quiet.

Silent.

A perfect writing day.

The wood stove is burning, and I have nowhere I need to be but here.

In The Bear Den. AKA The Little House.

While so many people I know are pining for Spring. Planning their gardens. I’m not quite ready to come out of my cave.

I went outside and took a little video for you. Full disclosure, I’m a much better still photographer than a videographer. :)

My tree family says hello to all of you. The White Pines, the Hemlocks, The Birch, and the Quaking Poplars, just to name a few.

They look so beautiful covered in snow - like they’re all dressed up for a winter ball. I’m going to snap on my snowshoes and go walk in the woods before the wind blows the snow off of the branches.

I hope everyone is having a day with some Joy in it, wherever you are in the world. And that the animal spirits visit you in your dreams if you so desire.

Whether it’s Bear or Mouse. Wolf or Pigeon. Lion or Ant. They all have their unique wisdom to share with us.

Much Love,
Barbara 🐻