I Am Love and I Am Here to Stay

A mantra to release the fear of dying

This photo popped out at me the other day, so I thought I’d share what it’s all about.

In September of 2011, I had a phone session with an intuitive/psychic who a friend of mine had recommended. I don’t do much of that sort of thing these days, but for several years in my 50s and early 60s, while I was studying energy medicine, I did have a few readings that proved to be very enlightening.

Do you ever look at your life, past and present, and see the puzzle pieces fitting together? I feel that way now, especially since I’ve been writing more and re-visiting old journals, photographs, and recordings of sessions such as the call I’m going to share with you.

If any of you have your Sun sign in Sagittarius, I can just see you shaking your heads with a vehement “Yes!!”

“The soul’s intention to live through the Sagittarius Sun is to discover higher knowledge, broader self-understanding, and greater wisdom. Sagittarians are open seekers of understanding who feel empowered by the task of putting together the puzzle of their many accumulated perspectives.”
Molly McCord — “Awakening Astrology”

We just can’t help ourselves with the seeking! I would add that higher knowledge doesn’t necessarily equate to higher education in the traditional sense of the word. It certainly hasn’t for me.

Back to the reading. It was only days after I saw the above photograph that I serendipitously found the recording I’m referring to. and so, I relistened to it.

Keep in mind that this happened a few years before my “Pink Is Everything!” meditation happened.

Pink Is Everything!

I didn’t really have a reason for the call. I wasn’t looking for contact with a deceased loved one. I was more curious about what she would intuit from my energy. Most of the information in the call I’ll keep to myself, but there are a few gems that I want to share.

This lovely guidance on my behalf was passed along to me. I was told to

See my whole body turning Pink.
Pink protective energy.
Filling me up.
Hands on my heart.
Exhaling, “I am free.”

More Pink! I did not remember that at all. Whenever I’m in a situation where I feel like my energy field needs protecting or strengthening, I always see it filling with Pink light. Maybe that started after the session. I don’t know.

Listening to the recording, I heard myself talking about having lived a life of high anxiety and fear with a side of hypochondria (AKA Vata) until an illness and huge life change around the fifty-year mark forced me to get a handle on it.

I learned to meditate and breathe properly and headed down the holistic health path to healing.

“Breathe, my dear” is what Thich Nhat Hanh probably would have said to me.

Thich Nhat Hanh Calligraphy

I’d like to say I’m completely fear and anxiety-free, but let’s be honest, there are still a few things (i.e., the dentist and hospitals) that try to let fear creep back in. For the most part, though, it’s a pretty remarkable transformation.

But what does this all have to do with death and the fear of dying? Well, after my session, I was thanking the person for her insight when she stopped me and said,

Wait a minute, I’m getting a message for you. They want you to say this mantra:

I am love, and I am here to stay.

I’m freely choosing. To stay.

“Now I realize the whole point of the mantra,” said the intuitive.

Releasing the fear of dying before I’ve really lived an exceptional life.

She told me that I was in a unique situation. I’m on a soul path that I can exit if I want. And that not all people get that privilege.

I’m on a vibrational soul path that, if I wanted to set in motion and say, “I’m done,” I could leave. And that I don’t know how powerful I am. “But,” she added, “Your soul is excited about what you’re doing and wants to stay.”

Wow. That hit me like a ton of bricks.

What I hadn’t told her was that I’d been having dreams for a few years (usually in the dead of winter) where I would feel like I was hovering over my body, wondering whether or not to stay or to leave. I remember feeling a sense of detachment about an outcome.

I wasn’t suicidal. I hadn’t been having these thoughts in my waking state, and things in my life were going well. Interestingly, there were always wild animals in the dreams supporting me.

One of these days, I’ll share my Pigeon dream with you.

So, when she gave me that message, there was no doubt in my mind that she was the real deal and that what she shared was solid gold.

Obviously, I chose to stay because it’s now eleven years later.

Maybe we all have this ability - to choose to leave or to stay. I don’t know, I’m not special. Well, I take that back. I am special. And so are you. We all are.

This past week, for whatever reason - maybe the full moon in Libra (today) - I’m not sure - but random references to aging keep popping up.

The photo. The recording.

Maybe having to try on new glasses and take a bunch of selfies forced me to really look at my (physical) self. It can be jarring, I’ll admit.

A friend of mine relayed a comment a friend of hers made about the Bible declaring that you’re on borrowed time after seventy.

I’ve never read the Bible, even having attended Catholic school for 11 years. And I certainly don’t consider myself on borrowed time.

As my friend said, “It’s disempowerment to the max.”

I don’t think I fully understood or began to love myself until I was in my fifties. Self Love is such an important piece of the healing puzzle.

It’s not selfish. It’s liberating and such a gift to our precious Souls.

My astrology teacher, Lynnette Duncan, has a wonderful Self Love Challenge on YouTube that can be really helpful.

Imagine a world filled with people who truly loved themselves and how that would benefit all of our relationships.

So, “living on borrowed time after seventy” is not something I choose to let linger in my subconscious. I’ll be seventy this year, and in many ways, I’ve never felt so alive and fearless.

When all of the nonsense started in 2020, I looked around, and all I could see was rampant fear. And I felt, at its core, that it was a fear of dying.

I felt blissfully fearless, and that was the most empowering thing I could have felt.

And that’s really the reason I wanted to share the mantra with you.

I am Love, and I am here to stay.

Please. Use it if you feel it will help alleviate any fear you might have about an uncertain future. Illness. Financial distress. Family discord. Death.

Our world is changing at warp speed. There is so much out there that we can choose to be fearful about.

I haven’t watched the mainstream news since early 2020. I saw the programming for what it was.

I stayed informed in other ways as long as I stayed out of fear.

Now, I really pick and choose what I feel is necessary to know and what is better left alone.

This morning, I heard Dr. Christiane Northrup share this quote by Dr. Bernie Siegel:

It is the meaning we give to something that’s going on in our body that will determine the outcome.

Yes! And I think this could be applied to just about everything in our lives.

I don’t watch things that depress or frighten me - especially movies and tv shows. I don’t have cable tv. So, no news.

Not everything is always hunky dory, as my mother used to say. I find the transition from winter into spring challenging. I keep looking to the surrounding environment to help guide me through it.

There is still snow on the ground, yet the birds have returned, and the bears are awake. So, I guess I need to be, too.

I lost another tree friend last weekend here on the land where I live. He was definitely a Guardian Tree, living on the edge of the woods not far from the road.

He looks much smaller in the photo. He was close to eight feet around, and when he came down, the tip landed on the stone wall just short of the road.

The longer I live so intimately in Nature, the more I realize the truth that,

We Are Nature

Tree loss is a perfect example of how life goes on. At first, I felt deep grief seeing it. Then I looked at it and realized that it will soon probably be home to all kinds of critters.

I gathered some of the branches with the Pine needles attached. While the inside of the tree has obviously been compromised, the needles are still super healthy.

I’m making medicine from them. White Pine oil and tincture. I’ve been drinking Pine infusions all winter and love it so much!

Look at these lil Balsam saplings who just missed being crushed.

And these Daffodils have managed to push up alongside the driveway that had crazy plowing and sanding all winter long.

Life goes on.

Our souls are immortal. At least, I believe they are.

We are Nature, and we will live on. If we choose a more fearless life this time around, it just might be longer and healthier.

I watched this video by astrologer Pam Gregory this morning. Even if you don’t understand astrology at all, there are so many gems here.

Like Pam says,

Stay in your own bubble of peace.

I’m sending you Pink Light filled with

Much Love and Courage,
Barbara