I don't know how I missed this post - found it via your post yesterday. Beautiful, Barbara and so YOU!
I feel like everything you share is a gift and a breadcrumb for your readers to experience the world as perpetually meaningful, even when it comes with sadness.
Thank you for this. Just lovely. And I LOVE your art!!
Such a BIG letting go! It seems a large chunk of experience was tied up with each of those paintings. It's funny how the Universe works sometimes - all is perfectly imperfect! I love the trees, and how now you have the actual trees, all around you, every day.
My letting-go's have happened in the dream state. Old loves, old angers and resentments in dream narratives, wiped away by the time I try to write about them in my journal, all emotional entanglement dissolved.
Its been a long road, that looks so much clearer up ahead!
The dreams! Yes, I can relate to that as well. 😳 So many messages coming at us if we are paying attention. And, yes! I'm choosing to see a clearer road ahead. This was a really good video by Pam Gregory: https://youtu.be/lZmHNtzoNzA?si=ONEarFwOAzYMgSA_
Barbara, thank you so much for sharing your story. I love your paintings and I'm so sorry that they have disappeared. Each one was precious, priceless, irreplaceable. It was a pure gift to spend time gazing at them and taking in and pondering everything you wrote and the images you painted.
I've been working on trying to do some "art" myself but it hasn't been easy. I think my block about art goes back to kindergarten in a Catholic School in Lowell, MA. We were given an assignment to construct a fruit bowl with different colored pieces of construction paper, which I completed and not without effort cutting them out. Then I proudly brought mine up to "Sister No, No" and she said to me, "No, that's not good enough, go back to your seat and do this part over again." I was devastated. So, long story short, that's why to this day, I still believe that I just don't have it in me to be an artist.
However, reading your two stories here has inspired me to give it another go and see what I can do.
You are pretty amazing, Barbara. Best of luck in all your future artistic endeavors. Thanks again.
Oh my goodness, Rocket! You ARE an artist if you have that mindset. "Sister No, No!" Funny not funny. I went to Catholic school through high school so i KNOW of what you speak. When I moved to NYC at age 49, I reunited with two elementary school friends quite by accident. We're all artists and we marveled at how that happened because we didn't have any art in grade school and didn't even know that we were so inclined. Same thing with music. I want to come back in my next life able to sing and play the guitar. I have tried but these hands just can't get the hang of the guitar.
Years later, I took a subbing job at a Catholic school teaching art. Omg. The teacher I was subbing for sounds like Sister No, No! I was horrified at the stories I heard. I ended up spending my own money to buy fun art supplies. It was so rigid there, I couldn't believe it. They were probably only allowed 3 crayons - all primary colors. I hate primary colors. 🤭 😂
Anyway, thanks for reading and I love and appreciate your comment, Rocket. Now, go wander around an art supply store and go wild! XOXO
I knew you would empathize with what I went through. It's interesting that you mention how "rigid" things were at that Catholic school you subbed at. I have a friend who is trying to encourage my creativity and she said, "OMG! I can't believe what a literalist your are and how rigid." Well, it's not hard to figure out where that came from! I have to admit it really did mess me up. I was even afraid to "think" on my own (at least not out loud), but I ended up being quite a contrarian in the end.
I forgot to tell you that I ordered the book you mentioned, "The Everyday Work of Art". I really enjoy doing collages but I didn't consider them to be "real" art. I know!! See what a literalist I am. Pray for me!!! LOL.
I think a reader mentioned that book because I don’t have it but I should get it! I think I might have mentioned “A Life in the Arts” by Eric Maisel. At any rate it’s never too late to purge that “discipline” out of us. I’ve always been drawn to abstraction, even as a young child. I can’t wait to see what you create, Rocket! 🎨 🖍️ I love crayons! 🩷🩷🩷
Very much looking forward to you sharing about the gift that Mother Nature has brought you!
And yes on the full moon wrapping up the healing phase! Please and thank you!
If I had those paintings in my possession, I’d be bummed to not have them back too. In the theatre world, we’re very used to saying goodbye to our creations. The weekend after a long run show closes, I totally get the morbs. We call it “the post show blues” but it’s a light hearted name for a deep melancholia that often turns us theatre ppl into alcoholics. 😂 I hope those paintings are gracing the walls of a place that has the eyeballs that need to see it and be moved by it. I bet that’s exactly what’s happened.
Say hi to the pond for me. Hugs to you, dear heart!
You always make me laugh, Tonika! I.e. theatre alcoholics... 🤭 Thanks for reading and leaving this comment. I can feel that you get it, fellow artist. Big hugs to you and The Pond will be sending her love, I am certain! XOXO
STINKER🤣 the cliff hanger!!!!!! This is so gooood. I'm sad but also realize the growth it provides. I total resonate. It's time to integrate!!!!!!!! Letting go and shedding is so freeing. I love you💕💕💕 xo!!!!!!! P.s. I had a moment this week that came out of nowhere. A woman ( whom I am fond of handed me a small gift) and I completely broke down. I had no idea where the tears came from. I still don't. I've thought about it over and over and even thinking about it makes me cry. While I am very emotional, this was different!!!!!
I know, Jamie. Since that last eclipse...😳😳 I love you so much. Glad you let your tears out. We were probably crying at the same time! :) I will try to bust out the cliff hanger this weekend. I'm so pokey... XOXOXO
Oh my Barbara I'm sorry to hear about your lost paintings. It really does feel like it's written in the stars!
I have had my own little loss. This week somehow a deer got into my food forest and had the biggest feast! This is the last year's hard work and some of the perennial kale plants were special as they are tricky to source. It's most of the things I had planned to eat over winter and the kale was said to last 8 years!!
Then I spotted the culprit....... the little sika deer I thought had died since I haven't seen him in 2 months. I had fed him every day for 10 months. So I lost my garden but my friend came back!! I still cried.
So I know it's not the same but I feel your pain. Sending hugs xx
Thank you, Kirsty, and my oh my, the deer!! He waited for the harvest, I guess?? I wish we could attach photos here. Surely you have one of your little friend? Sorry about the magical kale! XOXO
Thanks Barbara. My son and I made a little bed for Woody( the deer) in an old barn today. Maybe he will like it! I have left a little pear path to help him find it!!
I do have a lovely picture of him at my back door.
I'm looking forward to hearing the next chapter of your story xx
Barbara, you’re an alchemist. You’ve managed to transmute this loss into wisdom. Thank you for sharing your beautiful art and words with us. I’m so glad your peaceful woods are nourishing you with sweet gifts.
I don't know how I missed this post - found it via your post yesterday. Beautiful, Barbara and so YOU!
I feel like everything you share is a gift and a breadcrumb for your readers to experience the world as perpetually meaningful, even when it comes with sadness.
Thank you for this. Just lovely. And I LOVE your art!!
xoxo
Thank you, Kathleen! I'm missing posts left and right lately. Trying to catch up today but it's so beautiful outside, so.....:) XOXO
Such a BIG letting go! It seems a large chunk of experience was tied up with each of those paintings. It's funny how the Universe works sometimes - all is perfectly imperfect! I love the trees, and how now you have the actual trees, all around you, every day.
My letting-go's have happened in the dream state. Old loves, old angers and resentments in dream narratives, wiped away by the time I try to write about them in my journal, all emotional entanglement dissolved.
Its been a long road, that looks so much clearer up ahead!
I'm experiencing something similar. Baggage we don't need for the journey ahead.
The dreams! Yes, I can relate to that as well. 😳 So many messages coming at us if we are paying attention. And, yes! I'm choosing to see a clearer road ahead. This was a really good video by Pam Gregory: https://youtu.be/lZmHNtzoNzA?si=ONEarFwOAzYMgSA_
Thanks for reading, Josie! XO
Barbara, thank you so much for sharing your story. I love your paintings and I'm so sorry that they have disappeared. Each one was precious, priceless, irreplaceable. It was a pure gift to spend time gazing at them and taking in and pondering everything you wrote and the images you painted.
I've been working on trying to do some "art" myself but it hasn't been easy. I think my block about art goes back to kindergarten in a Catholic School in Lowell, MA. We were given an assignment to construct a fruit bowl with different colored pieces of construction paper, which I completed and not without effort cutting them out. Then I proudly brought mine up to "Sister No, No" and she said to me, "No, that's not good enough, go back to your seat and do this part over again." I was devastated. So, long story short, that's why to this day, I still believe that I just don't have it in me to be an artist.
However, reading your two stories here has inspired me to give it another go and see what I can do.
You are pretty amazing, Barbara. Best of luck in all your future artistic endeavors. Thanks again.
Oh my goodness, Rocket! You ARE an artist if you have that mindset. "Sister No, No!" Funny not funny. I went to Catholic school through high school so i KNOW of what you speak. When I moved to NYC at age 49, I reunited with two elementary school friends quite by accident. We're all artists and we marveled at how that happened because we didn't have any art in grade school and didn't even know that we were so inclined. Same thing with music. I want to come back in my next life able to sing and play the guitar. I have tried but these hands just can't get the hang of the guitar.
Years later, I took a subbing job at a Catholic school teaching art. Omg. The teacher I was subbing for sounds like Sister No, No! I was horrified at the stories I heard. I ended up spending my own money to buy fun art supplies. It was so rigid there, I couldn't believe it. They were probably only allowed 3 crayons - all primary colors. I hate primary colors. 🤭 😂
Anyway, thanks for reading and I love and appreciate your comment, Rocket. Now, go wander around an art supply store and go wild! XOXO
I knew you would empathize with what I went through. It's interesting that you mention how "rigid" things were at that Catholic school you subbed at. I have a friend who is trying to encourage my creativity and she said, "OMG! I can't believe what a literalist your are and how rigid." Well, it's not hard to figure out where that came from! I have to admit it really did mess me up. I was even afraid to "think" on my own (at least not out loud), but I ended up being quite a contrarian in the end.
I forgot to tell you that I ordered the book you mentioned, "The Everyday Work of Art". I really enjoy doing collages but I didn't consider them to be "real" art. I know!! See what a literalist I am. Pray for me!!! LOL.
I think a reader mentioned that book because I don’t have it but I should get it! I think I might have mentioned “A Life in the Arts” by Eric Maisel. At any rate it’s never too late to purge that “discipline” out of us. I’ve always been drawn to abstraction, even as a young child. I can’t wait to see what you create, Rocket! 🎨 🖍️ I love crayons! 🩷🩷🩷
Very much looking forward to you sharing about the gift that Mother Nature has brought you!
And yes on the full moon wrapping up the healing phase! Please and thank you!
If I had those paintings in my possession, I’d be bummed to not have them back too. In the theatre world, we’re very used to saying goodbye to our creations. The weekend after a long run show closes, I totally get the morbs. We call it “the post show blues” but it’s a light hearted name for a deep melancholia that often turns us theatre ppl into alcoholics. 😂 I hope those paintings are gracing the walls of a place that has the eyeballs that need to see it and be moved by it. I bet that’s exactly what’s happened.
Say hi to the pond for me. Hugs to you, dear heart!
You always make me laugh, Tonika! I.e. theatre alcoholics... 🤭 Thanks for reading and leaving this comment. I can feel that you get it, fellow artist. Big hugs to you and The Pond will be sending her love, I am certain! XOXO
🙏
STINKER🤣 the cliff hanger!!!!!! This is so gooood. I'm sad but also realize the growth it provides. I total resonate. It's time to integrate!!!!!!!! Letting go and shedding is so freeing. I love you💕💕💕 xo!!!!!!! P.s. I had a moment this week that came out of nowhere. A woman ( whom I am fond of handed me a small gift) and I completely broke down. I had no idea where the tears came from. I still don't. I've thought about it over and over and even thinking about it makes me cry. While I am very emotional, this was different!!!!!
I know, Jamie. Since that last eclipse...😳😳 I love you so much. Glad you let your tears out. We were probably crying at the same time! :) I will try to bust out the cliff hanger this weekend. I'm so pokey... XOXOXO
We probably were ❤
And I like a little anticipation 🤭🥰🙌😄 xo!!!!!
Oh my Barbara I'm sorry to hear about your lost paintings. It really does feel like it's written in the stars!
I have had my own little loss. This week somehow a deer got into my food forest and had the biggest feast! This is the last year's hard work and some of the perennial kale plants were special as they are tricky to source. It's most of the things I had planned to eat over winter and the kale was said to last 8 years!!
Then I spotted the culprit....... the little sika deer I thought had died since I haven't seen him in 2 months. I had fed him every day for 10 months. So I lost my garden but my friend came back!! I still cried.
So I know it's not the same but I feel your pain. Sending hugs xx
Thank you, Kirsty, and my oh my, the deer!! He waited for the harvest, I guess?? I wish we could attach photos here. Surely you have one of your little friend? Sorry about the magical kale! XOXO
Thanks Barbara. My son and I made a little bed for Woody( the deer) in an old barn today. Maybe he will like it! I have left a little pear path to help him find it!!
I do have a lovely picture of him at my back door.
I'm looking forward to hearing the next chapter of your story xx
Oh my gosh, that is so sweet! Please keep me posted! XOXO
Barbara, you’re an alchemist. You’ve managed to transmute this loss into wisdom. Thank you for sharing your beautiful art and words with us. I’m so glad your peaceful woods are nourishing you with sweet gifts.
💯 I was thinking much the same.
You are such a dear, Amanda. Thanks again for helping me process it all! Love you so so much! XOXO
Love you and it’s such a gift to witness the way you process life and the world. 🌱