Silent Awe

Medicine for my city lungs

“Medicine for My City Lungs” May 2018

Both this painting and this poem happened in the years before my move to the county. I will say this - I may have been a city girl most of my life, but I have always had a deep connection with Nature. With a Taurus Moon and Ascendent, it was meant to be.

No matter how much concrete surrounded me, I would find a way to get to the trees, the lakes, and the rivers. This is one such story of a river who stole my heart.

Silent Awe

It takes a lot to still me
to stop the motion
pause
and reflect
A busy bee
An Energizer bunny
I've been called both
But as I get on in years
I love the feeling of stillness
more and more
And with that stillness
often comes
Awe
The silent kind is the best
Sometimes I feel myself holding in
my breath
My heart slows down
or speeds up
in anticipation
I met a river this year
really just a stream
her name is Saskawhihiwine
She cascades down the Catskill Mountains
and passes through sacred land
that I've been blessed to visit
three times now
She has stolen my heart
Each time I return
I run to greet her like an
old friend
Even though our friendship's
only just begun
I feel as though I've known her
forever
She feels ancient
and holy
and she delivers me
to a state of
silent
Awe
I step on the lichen-covered rocks
and gingerly make my way to her center
where I sit and drink it all in
Nature
The sound of her rushing water
cascading down the rocks
Sometimes she gurgles
The feel of her icy-cold water
still pure and seeming like
a healing elixir
I dip my feet in
until they're numb
and cup my hands to fill
them with her goodness
I want to drink from her
but hesitate
Man has not been kind to the rivers
and lakes and oceans
And so I just touch her
with gratitude
My eyes wander around the banks
of Saskawhihiwine
and the trees that grace her
Oh, the trees
A double-dose of
Awe
I imagine a bear greeting me
or a deer drinking from the stream
The smell of Pine lingers in the crisp
clean air
Medicine for my city lungs
More Awe
for Mother Nature
and how she so generously
gives to us
her healing
There is sacred meaning
in rivers and streams
Mystery
Change
A source of life
and death
My faery friends
like to play near
The water's edge
I wonder about my own life
Why I am so drawn to this river now
at this time in my life
What change is coming?
What in me needs to die?
What needs to come to life?
These are questions that are
best asked in silence
Nature is always there
and it seems she's guided me
to the Saskawhihiwine to help me
answer these questions
I try not to think too much
as I close my eyes
and listen to her music
a gurgling symphony
of water
that delivers me to a
blessed state of
silent
Awe
-- Barbara Sinclair, 2017

The Saskawhihiwine River

Much Love,
Barbara