A Healing Dream

Thank you, Pigeon

I have been debating for a very long time whether or not to share this story.

Years, actually.

As Eliot Cowan (I wrote about him in my last post) once told me -

Be discerning about sharing.

And, in fact, the only place I’ve publically shared this story was with a very small group of people in his workshop on animal totems.

What happened to me was rare and true, and a gift to be treasured was what Eliot said to me in so many words.

I have guarded it close to my heart, as I do many messages I receive in dreams or meditations, journeys, or just during everyday life - washing the dishes, or taking a walk.

And now I am finally telling this story.

I was testing the waters all year to see how stories like this one would be received. Seems there are lots of kindred souls out there who recognize that there are times in our lives here on Planet Earth when things happen that we just can’t explain.

No “scientific explanation.”

No proof.

About a month ago, this dream kept popping into my head, so I asked for a sign to help me decide if I should share it or not.

The next morning, after a wild thunderstorm, I got up and went to my bedroom window. I looked down at my patio and noticed what looked like a Pigeon standing right in front of my door.

It was a Mourning Dove, not a Pigeon. But, there was no question. She was my sign.

Today the word “dove” and “pigeon” are used interchangeably. Although there is a difference, the two species are related. It would be wise for anyone with a pigeon as a totem to study the characteristics of the dove as well.

—Ted Andrews, “Animal-Speak”

She stood there for the longest time and didn’t fly away until I came down the stairs and stood in front of the door.

The next day I saw her sitting on the big rock in front of the house.

Since then, she has come almost daily. Usually at dusk and dawn. She drinks from the little stone birdbath and eats the treats I leave out. I read that Doves like millet, so I’ve been adding that to the bird seed.

Sometimes her partner is with her. My friend said they mate for life.

The other day, there were two couples. :)

The name Clara just popped into my head. So Clara she shall be.

Although, at this point, I can’t be sure which one is Clara. :)

Oh! Look who just showed up!

Another nudge to write this, I guess.

As luck, or shall I say synchronicity would have it, I found the notebook that I’d written down my healing dream in.

Truth be told, I didn’t really need the notebook, because I remember every detail of this dream I had on April 1, 2012.

It was no April Fool’s joke though.

Here’s the backstory. This was “real” life, not my dream.

For months, I’d been experiencing a dull pain on the right side where my ovary resides. It wasn’t a debilitating pain. It was just there. It felt like some kind of signal.

For many years (mostly before I went down the holistic healing path) I’d suffered tremendously in this part of my body.

Ovarian cysts, endometriosis, infertility, childhood accidents, just to name a few. I was always fearful that the C-word would show up there.

When I started studying energy healing, I realized how significant all of these health issues had been. These physical symptoms are all linked to the second (sacral) chakra.

This chakra is all about our sexuality, creativity, our relationship with money, and relationships in general. It has a special connection with our 5th chakra - our voice, and our creative expression.

Orange is the color of the second chakra, and for most of my life, I had a visceral dislike for that color. Interestingly enough, as I began to heal this part of my body, I started to like the color orange. Well, at least certain shades of it. :)

While living in NYC and doing a lot of this work on myself, I was in one of my favorite haunts - an office/art supply store on 6th Avenue when what did I see? An orange notebook!

And so, it became my journal for exploring and healing my second chakra.

This is most definitely one of those journals that perhaps needs to go into the fire.

Anyway, the pain on my right side persisted, and finally, I broke my newfound “no allopathic doctor rule” and went to see a gynecologist in my neighborhood who I’d been to see before and was pretty open-minded and accepting of my views.

She did an ultrasound and told me that, yes, there was something there, but she wanted me to have a different kind of ultrasound and sent me on my way.

I never followed through, and the pain was still there.

Then I had the dream.

I was sitting on a park bench in the woods with two friends from my energy-healing days. Nancy and Vivi.

Some birds came circling over my head. At first, I couldn’t discern if they were Penguins, Pigeons, or Doves. I remember settling on Pigeons.

One of the Pigeons came to me and said she was going to drain the tumors from my ovaries.

First, she pecked at two or three tumors in my left ovary and a clear fluid started to drain. I remember being surprised that there was something on the left side. Then she pecked at the one on the right. Again, a clear fluid drained from the cyst/tumor.

My eyes were closed, but I could see what was happening.

Then the Pigeon said (or telepathically conveyed to me) that she would be happy for me to come now through the gates of heaven, but they would allow me to stay if I so wished.

They flew away, and I woke up.

I realized immediately what a gift this dream had been. And when I went about my day, I noticed that the pain was gone. It never returned.

Suffice it to say that my relationship with Pigeons changed. So many people deride these mostly city birds as dirty and an annoyance. But, when I began to observe them, all I noticed was what gentle creatures they are. Peaceful.

These beauties showed up for my friend in Barcelona the day I told her I was thinking of writing about my Pigeon healing dream.

After my dream, I began bringing seeds and other treats with me on my daily bike rides on the boardwalk by the Hudson River, AKA the mighty Mahicanituk. They would gather at my feet, quietly accepting my offering. They shared the bounty with the little sparrows and other birds and squirrels. I never once saw one act aggressively.

I found this old video from my NYC days.

Ted Andrews says that Pigeons are often associated with home. Finding our way back home.

And that might just mean home to ourselves.

When I attended the animal totem classes with Eliot in 2017, we learned how to carve our totems. I’d never carved anything in my life, and it wasn’t easy. I needed help carving my Wolf totem, but, miraculously, I managed to carve Pigeon out of soapstone all by myself.

Not exactly a masterpiece, but she is precious to me.

Last month, during a past life regression session (my first ever) a memory of something that had happened to me in this lifetime came in that had a direct connection to a past life I was remembering.

A month after my partner, Ralph, had died, I ended up on a trip with a group of people to Italy, France, Croatia, and Bosnia and Herzegovina.

The memory (from this lifetime) that came into my past life regression was of my time in the walled city of Assisi. I recalled how, when I entered the city, I felt an incredible peace come over me.

I remembered seeing a statue of St. Francis holding a basket with a live Dove.

I honestly have no idea why this memory came into my head during the regression. Although I was raised a Catholic, I have long since left that religion, or any religion, behind. But, back in the day, I loved reading about the saints. St. Francis and St. Clare of Assisi were among them.

And, I am just now realizing why the name “Clara” flew into my head when I saw the Dove. Wow.

Dove showing up before I’d begun writing about my dream seems significant.

And, although I’m not religious, and question so much of what we’ve been told about history, I still say that Assisi was one of the most peaceful places I’ve ever visited.

I’m still processing my past-life regression, and as I did with my dream, I’m keeping it private and close to my heart.

I wrote in my last post, “River Medicine” that I heard “Go to the River.” I keep getting water nudges.

The element associated with the second chakra is water.

In “River Medicine” I was writing about healing my 5th chakra. And, here I am writing about the connection between these two chakras.

Our creativity might be birthed in the second chakra, but it is given its voice in the 5th.

When I read what Ted Andrews wrote about Dove, my heart nearly exploded.

To the Pueblo Indians it was also honored. Its feathers were often worn and used in prayer sticks.The mournful song of the dove was considered an invocation to water and an indication to men where the water could be found. (Again we have the ancient symbol for the maternal in the connection to water.) Its song would signify waterholes or springs to which the dove must return at dusk to drink.

The song of the dove speaks to all who hear it. Its mournful tones stir the emotions, the internal waters.

The dove is actually a smaller copy of the now-extinct passenger pigeon. A study of its qualities will help you in understanding the significance of the dove in your own life.

The dove is also a ground feeder, reflective of keeping contact with Mother Earth and the creative possibilities of the feminine energies on Earth.

The brood of the dove consists of two eggs. Two is a traditional number for the feminine and creative energies. A study of numerology, as applied to doves, will add even more insight for you.

The dove’s song is its most distinctive characteristic. The voice of the dove is the rain song. Out of its mourning, it invokes new waters of life. Its song should remind us that no matter what our life conditions, new waters and new life are still possible. The Earth is a female planet, and this should remind us that creation and new birth is available to all of us upon it. The mourning dove helps us to remember that.

Although its song is heard throughout the day, it seems more distinct at dawn and dusk. These are the “Between Times” — a time in which there is a thinning of the veils between the physical and the spiritual, the past and the future. The dove can help you to use these times to see the creation process active within your own life.

The song of this totem tells you to mourn what has passed, but awaken to the promise of the future. It is a bird of prophecy and can help you to see what you can give birth to in your life.

—Ted Andrews, “Animal-Speak: The Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great and Small

In numerology, my lifepath number is 2. The Peacemaker. People with this lifepath number want everyone to get along. We can easily see two sides to every story. Anger can make us physically sick. I love that the Dove is associated with this number.

So, what was the point of me telling this story?

There are so many of us searching for healing - be it physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual. The individual and collective pain on this planet right now is immense.

I read this recently, although the author escapes me. It’s so simple but true.

We are healing and we are healed.

How can that be so? I can say from my own experience that the process of healing has always brought me more insight, and often a major shift in consciousness.

We may be healing our physical body when our spiritual body gets a major upgrade.

We might be going through a dark night of the soul when an animal spirit shows up in our dream and gifts us with physical healing.

But always, I believe, we have to be putting in the work.

I had already done a tremendous amount of healing work around my second chakra when I had that dream.

In that instance, I hadn’t gone to bed asking for help. I can’t explain why it happened.

And, believe me, it doesn’t always happen when or how we want it to.

These past few weeks, as I’ve struggled with some physical issues, I wanted nothing more than Pigeon to show up for me again in a dream.

I even took the totem I’d carved and set it on the windowsill by my bedside. No dream has come to me yet.

We can always ask for help, and I do so often when I’m drifting off into that magical space before sleep.

I’ve been meditating more and reflecting a lot. The more I slow down, the more I get quiet, and the more I hear what Spirit needs me to know.

It doesn’t matter if you pray to God or to the Goddess, or ask for help from helping spirits, there is healing help for us if we do the work, have gratitude, and ask with humility and no expectations.

That is my belief, and yours might be vastly different. Isn’t that wonderful that we are free to believe whatever we choose?

I don’t imagine there are too many people out there who have a deep love for Pigeons. In my home, she is Queen, broken tail and all.

Much Love,
Barbara